When I bought my first horse at twenty-one, I had never driven a truck or pulled a trailer. I dreamed of hauling my horse to shows with friends, but the reality felt paralyzing: hitching the trailer, loading the horse, driving safely, unloading and reloading, getting home, then backing into a tight space without hitting someone else’s rig. What looked like one task blurred into a single, terrifying impossibility.
Big dreams stall because no one tells you that losing twenty pounds, starting a business, painting a mural, or writing a book is a thousand tiny steps masquerading as one task. The secret to accomplishing anything is to break the big, daunting job into such small actions that success becomes less something you strive for and more something you trip over.
A Mentor to the Rescue
A wise mentor suggested breaking the problem into smaller steps. The idea was just unconventional enough—and I was just desperate enough—to try it. On the first day, I drove to the barn, backed the truck to the hitch, lowered the trailer onto the ball, and plugged in the lights. That’s it. Then I unhitched and went home. It took less than fifteen minutes.
I repeated only that for several days, until I felt comfortable handling the equipment.
Next, I hitched the trailer, drove around the block, and practiced backing it into its space. I was certain everyone watching was laughing at me. In reality, a few people came over to help. One showed me a simple trick: put one hand at the bottom of the steering wheel and move your hand in the direction you want the rear of the trailer to go. That small tip changed everything.
I practiced for about two weeks—hitching, backing, parking, driving—before I added a horse.
Separately, I spent ten to fifteen minutes a day on groundwork with my horse, gaining his respect and learning to direct his movement—forward, backward, left, and right.
When I finally combined the two, I started the process again: hitching, then loading and unloading, then short drives, then trips to the showgrounds. By the time I went to a show the process felt easy.
Lessons I Learned
I joke about it now, but this was one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given myself: patience, gentleness, time, and focus. I’m also proud that I moved through something that genuinely scared me—and did it in a way that was kind to myself.
I learned that when your “why” is strong enough, it stops mattering what other people think.
I also learned that when you think people are laughing at you, they usually aren’t. Often, they’re wondering how to help.
Try This
Think of something you want to do that has felt too big, too complicated, or too overwhelming.
Write it down. Then break it into the smallest possible steps. If you get stuck, ask a friend, mentor, or coach for help. Aim for actions that take fifteen minutes or less. If a step still feels daunting, break it down again until it seems almost effortless.
When I worked on trailering with my mentor, he asked, “What can you do that doesn’t feel scary?”
“Back up to the hitch.”
“Good. Can you lower it onto the ball?”
“Yes.”
“Plug in the lights?”
“I think so.”
“Drive around the block?”
“Uh…I don't know about that.”
“Perfect. Then stop right before that.”
So I did. You can do the same thing.
If you want to start walking in the mornings, begin by waking up and putting on your workout clothes—down to your shoes. Walk around your house for a minute or two, then change and go about your day. That’s it. A dress rehearsal.
Once that feels easy, step outside, but walk for one minute, not an hour. Then walk to the end of your driveway. Then walk to the end of the block.
I once read about a marathoner who began this way: overweight, out of shape, walking to the end of her driveway. It sounds trivial, but these tiny, repeatable actions are what carry you forward.
Why It Works
Small steps create frequent wins. Wins are motivational. They make it more likely you’ll continue.
That’s what happened with my trailer experiment. Every day I tried, I succeeded. Succeeding was fun, and because the tasks were so nonsensically small, failure was unlikely. My confidence grew daily.
Weeks upon weeks of wins created evidence I could do it.
The Far Less Than One Percent
Very few people will do this. It sounds too simple. It seems like it will take too long. In some cases, it does take longer. Learning to haul my horse safely took over a month.
But longer is faster than never.
Trust the Process
This micro-method is one of the most effective, least stressful, and least used ways to accomplish almost anything.
After you do it once, you may discover you are capable of more than you assumed. I’ve used it to teach myself painting, complete large-scale oil portraits, write four books, and become a professional horse trainer.
What I know now is this: if I give myself time, patience, and sufficiently small steps, very little is out of reach. Progress looks like inches when you’re in the middle of it. But inches accumulate until one day you look up and realize you are standing inside the life you dreamed of.
Excerpt from Be an Artist (or Just Live Like One).
